Snow Day!

Today the weather people expect 12-18 inches to fall, mostly between 9am -9pm. One friend said i hope you are going to take pix which, of course, triggered me to do so even more. today a friend asked where i was, that it was so beautiful, that she asked if i was taking photos. i guess i've made it a big deal lately. its what i love. and maybe people love it. they are encouraging me and i love that.

above is my favorite today thus far. i should take the same photo throughout the day, progression...that would be neat as a series...ahh the thoughts go again. :)

Random Thoughts

they happen everyday. all day. what i need to do with my day. whether i should wake up now or later. should i make coffee at home or go get it. take a walk. is there a need to go outside today?

this is only the first few waking moments in my day, another day that i am unemployed.

day 74.

some people are laid off for months, years even. I'm sure everyone has a different view on it. a lucky vacation from a job they never stopped working. a terrible halt, but enough savings to get by for a long time. i'm somewhere in the middle, except that whole cliche of "you don't know what you've got til its gone". well i'm good when im working. i need structure. i need people around me, even if i think i don't when they are. the number one reason i got through the past year was because i was surrounded by people, friends, who cared about me everyday, even though we were working together.

the rest of today was a big old racing path of thoughts. i was going to go into the city and then i decided to stay in and work on those random hobbies, scrap-booking, crocheting, moving photos.

now I've got photos in areas and can't move to print on my own. oops. and scrap-booking i only reorganized bc i needed the photos. ha.

so i might even be so bold, while dinner is cooking (yes its late, ugh), to finish the plain old scarf i was working on.

i have a date with Jonathan tomorrow for job searching. we like to lay out plans for the future & how we'll get jobs or make money. I've been trying to think of different avenues. once i get a job if its too low i have some side things i can do.

its supposed to snow tonight starting at midnight, a foot to a foot & a half...we shall see.

see? random.

i want

Today

Today I can't see out of my eyes. Maybe it is too hot out. Maybe because I sat on an PATH car without AC. Maybe because I'm getting old.

I woke up exhausted. Another mystery. San Diego & I have been trying to figure out dreams from time to time. Perhaps I had some insane ones that lead to a restless night of sleeping. I have reason to believe that would make me exhausted. Or maybe its just life again.

Last night was a treat. Went to a birthday party that was we thought had an open bar for an hour. Negative. Thought there was tons of great food. Also negative. It was a club which I have a great dislike for. I don't mind if there is dancing but I generally like to be able to talk to the person next to me without screaming and if I am screaming they should be able to hear me, not just see my lips moving! Oh and one last thing. Never eat appetizers that are left out on a table, near people. They are probably not good, or edible. I learned that the hard way.

Happy Birthday - much like my dislike for you which I tried to overcome to go to your party, I disliked your party.

Lay-offs

So it's been a while...but today struck me hard. I wasn't around the last time this happened. Correction. I wasn't around for the round in December, but I was for the one in March.

It's inevitable I suppose.

We are a tight knit group here, we have fun, we work well together and yet the company is not doing well. We are all just waiting for the call - mourning the loss of positions that have already happened.

Today 6 of my friends, people I would actually hang out with, got laid off.

It's horrible.

I wonder how long I could stand on my own. How bad do I need medical insurance. How soon would I be able to get a new job. A million things circle my head and all the while there are thousands of other things reeling in my head, keeping me up at night.

It's a vicious cycle. Bright side though - I still have a job. I still live alone. I still have a life I wanted and built for myself. A few hitches here and there are not going to get me down because I have a great support system and loving friends and family.

I am a lucky girl, after all.

Day 1 - Juice Cleanse

OK so with this juice cleanse you need to have a prep day - so that your body doesn't freak out when you aren't putting food in, etc. i was attempting to make Saturday that but should have known better. i had a family party. anyway Saturday was a wash. Sunday i had a chance to get "prepared" so i basically did fine except for 1 diet coke. i had an apple crisp my mom made - fresh apples, oats, a real sugar. i figured this was bad because of how awesome it was but then realized it was from all fresh, non-processed items. it was delicious and i didn't feel guilty. i figured that once I'm done with the cleanse, that's what ill go back to on the first day back, then back into more eating but generally need to keep it to the raw fresh healthy stuff.
the rest of the day i had a salad, no cheese or anything, just lettuce carrots & tomatoes. then broccoli a tiny bit of brown rice (had a little butter - good fat? :)) anyway then some nuts and i had started the Mighty Mango Naked juice. so good.

Official day 1 - 10:35am - I had an orange juice on the way to work to get started (i would normally have an apple/banana on the walk). I've had a cup of Green Machine Naked and now having a cup of mint tea. Heading out at lunch to buy detox tea. other tips i just read is to workout about 45 minutes each day to keep energy up, taking multi vitamins is a good idea and taking 2 hot showers w scrubbing/loofah is helpful to remove toxins.

will update more later...

Juice Fast

So it's been a while since I've been here but I'm the only one so I'm the only one waiting. I've gotten a haircut - love it. I've reached plateau in the F4J but it's because i went back to my old tricks. So Brady and I have discussed this juice fast she has done before in an effort to save her body from giving up. To detox when you feel you've been drinking too much, putting artificial crap in your body and eating more than you should. This is also typically a way people look to lose weight. if i do-great, but that is not my goal. my goal is to clean up my body. everyone i know who has done some kind of cleanse feels so much better and knowing what could possibly be in your body makes you want to keep it clean and only put in the goods. It's also a 'get back on track' idea for me. sometimes and especially lately i just lose sight of things and run around and lose myself. i need to be more structured. more grounded.

so LK and i are embarking on a 3 day juice fast/cleanse. she may move her days and do it with J at home. that's the key is doing it with someone or telling someone you know will support you that you are doing it so that if you feel a moment of weakness you can call them and they can help you get out of the rut. something like "help! i want a huge cheeseburger & wings & beer" to which your good supportive friend says, "yo-relax, drink some more juice". haha which makes me think of Steel Magnolias where Shelby is having a diabetic episode her mother says "Shelby, drink your juice, just drink your juice, Shelby". Just think. it's not as bad as Shelby. Believe me I understand the life of a diabetic. it's not fun.

so i will be doing a clean diet tomorrow & Saturday (bc i have a family party on Saturday) - mostly raw fruits & veggies/fresh foods...to get ready. then sunday/monday (and if all goes well) tuesday. I'll track as much as i can here - and maybe LK can submit her thoughts since she will be appox 1 day ahead of me. let's hope neither of us has any issues. :)

ps MK is ahead as she has been in F4J. i have to be about 3-4lbs less than i am right now to equal her...i feel the challenge coming back. its back to healthy & workin out for me. focus on life. back on track.

a big thanks to LK & MK for being incredibly supportive and doing these crazy things together so that we keep on track and don't lose our minds.